Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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