Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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