I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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