I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
