I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize