you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
