I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
