Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
