I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
