Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
