so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
