Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
