if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
