he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
