found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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