# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
