Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
