Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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