i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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