Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its not stalking. its research.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
