so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
