Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
