oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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