I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
