it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
