I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
