some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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