Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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