We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
