Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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