the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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