You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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