UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
