dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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