he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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