I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
