im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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