those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize