I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
