You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
