Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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