She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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