Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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