At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
