My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
