So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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