last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
