I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize