So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
