I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
