My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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