With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
