I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
