You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
