Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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