WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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