His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize