Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
