I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
