How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
