so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
