I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
