he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
