i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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