I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
