you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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