life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
