I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm jealous of your bromance
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
