I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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