Porn is love you can see.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
