she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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