I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
