everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
