I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
