Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
